FEARLESS!… How wonderful it would be to go through life fearlessly! It comes from out of nowhere quietly creeping to the surface physically and mentally paralyzing you from any forward movement. I don’t know about you, but I want to banish fear from my life as much as possible! It totally blocks me in pursuing my dreams. It stops me from being all that I can be!
On several occasions I have read that fear is ego based. Not until I gave this statement a lot of thought while reflecting back through my own life did I come to believe the truth in this. The coaching process has taught me to face my fears. In the past, I used to look at failure as something to be embarrassed about. Something that could humiliate me or make me feel silly, stupid or inadequate. You know, like a loser! At times I would talk myself out of trying to take steps towards a goal or dream by justifying my lack of action with lame excuses. Now I realize, bottom-line, it was just avoidance of dealing with the possibility that the end result I was seeking might not turn out PERFECT… my “Fear of Failure”! I used to let all the little negative voices in my head talk me out of what it was that I really wanted to try. I avoided the possibility of hearing “I told you so” from the many different naysayers in my life. So, I kept myself safe. I know better now. I understand that the real basis for not taking the action in these cases was all about EGO.
What is the actual definition of Ego anyway? Ok, this is taken right from the New College Edition of The American Heritage Dictionary… The conscious subject of the self. The personality component that is conscious, most immediately controls behavior, and is most in touch with external reality. Self-love, conceit, egotism. And so now let’s look at the actual definition of an Egotist! This is taken from the same source… A conceited, boastful person. One that is preoccupied with one’s own welfare and advancement. WOW, well that really explains it all.
Everyone has an Ego to some degree. We all want to feel good about ourselves. But, this ego of ours actually acts as a block in allowing us to be the very best that we can be! We are so worried about what others think of us and of being accepted as a success in our lives that we are totally afraid to fail in other people’s eyes. And to some degree, also afraid to succeed because if we succeed then we are under the stress of maintaining that success. If we don’t maintain the level of success we attained, then guess what? We appear as a failure to others. What a vicious cycle! That’s pretty crazy stuff that we do to ourselves!
Well, I for one have made a conscious choice that I will not let my Ego and others peoples idea of success and failure determine my destiny any longer! I made a conscious decision for change! I am not concentrating on the PERFECT outcome. I am going to enjoy every minute of my journey and learn from the experience and just EXPECT GOOD THINGS TO HAPPEN! I figure as long as I am looking at all the factors surrounding a life choice, calculating the risks, making decisions that don’t harm anyone else and moving towards fulfillment of MY DREAMS, then that’s the best I can do for myself. Forward movement to bring me to a happier and more fulfilling place in my life and my career is a good thing!